the new ambulance chasers

counterpoint to the alternashpere’s bandwagonning over Aurora…

Secret Sun

Most people have a stereotype of “conspiracy theorists” as wild-eyed hysterics, who theorize first and maybe– maybe– ask questions later. Unfortunately, there’s an entire population of conspiratainers and their followers who are hellbent on proving that stereotype right, and then lowering the bar as far as possible.

Conspiracy research- as opposed to conspiracy entertainment– is largely dead. In some ways the tools of the trade were adopted by mainstream journalists like Matt Taibbi and Glenn Greenwald. But the deluge of Evangelicals and New Agers into the conspiratainment sphere during the Bush years has ravaged the notion of questioning the reworded press releases the mainstream news media feed us as reporting. Gee, you’d almost think it was planned that way.

Social media has created a noise machine, in which unsourced rumors are taken as fact and old Neo-Nazi fever dreams are taken as established history. The end result has been a growing backlash– especially among most geeks and other hipster types– that looks on all conspiracy thinking as the province of pantpissing trailer trash.

Nowhere is the lack of a serious class of conspiracy researchers more conspicuous than in the aftermath of the increasingly frequent mass shootings we’re seeing. No serious conspiracy researcher would start unleashing–within hours of an event– a series of videos claiming that a shooting was a “false flag event” and would definitely never repeat the easily disproven claim that these shootings are staged to hasten draconian gun laws that by some dint of coincidence never materialize.

Even if a serious researcher has a strong suspicion, he or she would wait until the hysteria died down and then calmly and methodically begin sifting through witness statements, police reports, personal histories, and on and on and on before presenting a theory. And only when a mountain of corroborating evidence was attached.

Because a serious researcher would be very much concerned with their credibility and reputation, something that never keeps the new breed of conspiratainment shills up at night.


But of course what we are seeing now is a religion, that delivers freedom from accountability in place of salvation. The game to disempower the individual as much as possible so the believer can never feel responsible for the conduct of their lives. It’s to create as many scapegoats to blame as possible, so the goalpost can be moved at will. It’s the religion of surrender.

Half of the theorizing about the Aurora shooting that I’m seeing is religiously based and the other half is based in NRA paranoia. Jones must have some incredibly powerful people pulling his strings because he continues to push the gun law theory and is never, ever called out when he is wrong (just as I did when he was insanely wrong on Prometheus).

The UN treaty — which needs a 2/3rds majority and not the simple majority Jones has implied– is not about domestic gun rights. But Jones has spun the same exact story (see this, this, this, this and this) so many times that only the religious could believe it.

Jones and others have also claimed that Holmes couldn’t have obtained body armor since he would need a Federal permit and a lot of money to do so. However, 30 seconds on Google produced a cornucopia of body armor, that Holmes could easily have obtained without maxing out a single credit card. And the line about the Federal law is total bullshit.

Remember Kevin Smith maxing his credit cards out to make Clerks? That netted him $27,000 dollars back in 1992. Holmes could have armed himself for a fraction of that.

Right now the only thing we do know about this guy was that he was extremely intelligent and very skilled at chemistry. That would explain the gas (most people who didn’t read the labels before cleaning the floor know how to make tear gas) and the improvised IEDs.

And longtime Secret Sun readers are surely getting an Amy Bishop vibe off of this case. I’ve always said that the line between genius and madness is nearly invisible. And any first year psych student knows that catastrophic mental illness often emerges in one’s early 20s (Amy Bishop committed her first murder when she was 21).

As we’ve seen in the past initial media reports are notoriously unreliable (and getting worse, thanks to our dumbed-down media) and the new ambulance chasers of Conspirastan always lose interest once the hit counter cools off. Because that’s the only thing they care about- pumping the hit counter in order to fill their pockets.

Now, here’s the deal: I don’t know what motivated this guy. I don’t know what is behind all this because we don’t have enough information (and deliberately false information is being fed into cyberspace). I don’t know if he had an accomplice or not. I don’t know what is going on because he’s not talking and the police have clamped down on leaks. We don’t need to look any further than The Gangster Squad trailer-released in May– for inspiration behind the act.

The information we have right now doesn’t necessitate any kind of “false flag” scenario yet– if you’re a cogent, reasonable individual. I do know he has a look in his eyes that chills me to the bone. What’s behind that, I don’t know yet. I’m not going to form an opinion on the matter until I can look at the evidence. I will say that the fact that his brains weren’t sprayed around the parking lot on the way to a police cruiser strongly argues against Holmes being a patsy. Because no one would have lost any sleep if they were.


I do know that is just more bad news attached to a Christopher Nolan film. This is a guy who puts forward psychopaths as his protagonists (Following, Memento, The Prestige) and cast a guy previously best known as Bateman, the American Psycho as Batman. He also seems especially fascinated with mindfucking as we’ve seen in Inception and the first Batman film (how people led Inception slide is beyond me). I do know this is a guy who revels in fascist, brutalizing imagery and themes in his work.

I do know that he deliberately created a brand new archetype with his Joker, the real protagonist of The Dark Knight. A figure of pure, wanton destruction- the killer that every Jugalo would love to be when they grow up. This was pure psychological manipulation of the worst kind, and has had terrible real world results.

Of course no one wants to think about that because a lot of the same people who immerse themselves in Conspiratainment want to play their ultra-violent video games and watch their torture porn. And their Batman movies.

They want to be unaccountable, in other words.

So Jones’ kneejerk theories– backed up by nothing but folklore and a few random Tweets– lets them off the hook. They’re not contributing to a culture of cruelty and dehumanization themselves, it’s some phantom G-men who themselves are never caught and held accountable because they usually don’t exist.

Face the facts- a gun-soaked culture serves the powers that be, which is why America works so hard to export it. Even the Obama Administration.


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